Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
