now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize