saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm like, not good at living.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
