I showed him my bush... on skype.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I believe in your delicious
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
