Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
