Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
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