my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
