I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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