I just threw up on my dentist
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize