We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
