bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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