By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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