I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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