so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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