I will die if light touches me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I believe in your delicious
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
