My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize