you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
