There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
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we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
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There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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