I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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