this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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