he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I could fuck to npr.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize