its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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