I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Randomize
