i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Shame - the story of my life.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
