Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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