It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
