Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
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May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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