if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
