i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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