listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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