Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
