2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
