My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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