I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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