So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit