I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
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This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
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I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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