what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
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i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
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You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.