I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
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well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
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Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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