she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices