I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
