It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
