It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize