Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
