You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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