i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
