Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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