Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
