Soap is not a condiment
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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