i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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