You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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