OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
