some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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