I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
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Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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