Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
