First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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