I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
