I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
