he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
